REFLECTIONS ON IDENTITY & BECOMING
Finding yourself again can begin when the roles that once helped define you start to change.
A career ends. Children need us differently. A relationship shifts. Something we believed about ourselves no longer fits quite the way it once did. Sometimes the change is obvious. Other times, we simply begin wondering who we are underneath all the things we’ve spent years doing.
I’ve had to sit with that question more than once. These reflections aren’t about becoming a better version of who you were or figuring out who you’re supposed to become. They’re simply some things I’ve noticed while learning that identity may be less about holding tightly to who we’ve been and more about becoming curious about who we are now.
Maybe one of them will help you recognize a little more of yourself.
Who Am I Without the Role?
Roles, titles and accomplishments can become so intertwined with our identity that we barely notice it happening. When some of those roles began to change in my own life, I found myself sitting with a surprisingly difficult question: Who am I without all of that?
They Don’t Look Like Their Stories
We often meet people without knowing anything about what they’ve lived through. Their appearance tells us very little about the losses, mistakes, struggles or changes that have shaped them. Sometimes remembering that changes the way we see others, and ourselves.
You’re Already Doing It
We can spend so much time wondering whether we’re changing that we overlook the ways change is already happening. Sometimes becoming isn’t about transforming into someone new. It’s about recognizing what has quietly begun to take shape.
More Than a Label
Labels can help us understand parts of our lives, but they can also become identities we carry long after they’ve stopped telling the whole story. I’ve learned there may be a more interesting question than what I’ve been called or who I’ve been: Who am I today?
I’m Fine! – The Mask With the Smile Pasted On
Sometimes “I’m fine” has less to do with how we’re actually doing and more to do with the version of ourselves we want others to see. I’ve learned how exhausting it can be to keep that mask in place, and how much can change when we’re willing to tell the truth instead.
When I Say My Age Out Loud
Getting older has brought some unexpected questions about how I see myself and how I imagine others see me. I’m learning that age can become another label if I let it, when perhaps this season is less about becoming “old” and more about staying curious about who I am now.
A Reflection Each Sunday
If these kinds of reflections speak to something you’re experiencing, I share a new one every Sunday. No answers to have figured out. Just an invitation to notice what life might be showing us.
