Prefer to watch instead? The video is linked below.
Sometimes I catch myself doing something and realize I never really decided to do it. I pick up my phone and start scrolling. I turn on the TV even though there’s nothing I particularly want to watch. I check my email for the umpteenth time, even though I checked it ten minutes ago.
And it’s not just little things like that. I can get irritated and feel myself heading toward the same reaction I’ve had a hundred times before. I can start telling myself a story about why someone said what they said or what they must have meant. I can be sitting right here while my mind is busy replaying something from yesterday or worrying about something that hasn’t even happened yet.
Thích Nhất Hạnh called this habit energy, and that phrase has always made sense to me. We all have patterns. Some probably go back years. Maybe they started because they helped us get through something. Maybe we learned them somewhere along the way. And some are probably nothing more than things we’ve done so many times that we don’t even think about them anymore.
What I appreciate about mindfulness is that I don’t have to immediately figure out why I do these things or decide that I need to stop doing them. I can just notice.
There I go reaching for my phone again. There I go getting worked up about that again. There I go having the same conversation in my head again.
And noticing doesn’t mean I suddenly make a better choice. Sometimes I notice myself doing something and keep right on doing it. I may still scroll. I may still check the email. I may still get irritated. But there’s a difference. A moment ago, I was just doing it. Now I know I’m doing it.
Sometimes I make the same choice anyway. But sometimes I don’t. And I probably wouldn’t have had that choice at all if I hadn’t noticed what I was doing.
If you would prefer to watch this reflection, you can do so here:
Until next time,
Don Phelps
Awakening With Don®
