From Hiding to Here: How Presence Became My Practice
By Don Phelps
For most of my life, I lived in two places:
- One foot in the past — replaying shame, regret, and failure.
- And one foot in the future — consumed by fear, worry, and what-ifs.
I was everywhere… except here.
Even during the years I served as a pastor, I was often just performing. Smiling on the outside. Preaching hope to others while falling apart inside. I had mastered the art of hiding in plain sight — and I called it “strength.”
But eventually, the strain of performing broke me. And in that breaking, something unexpected emerged:
Presence.
At first, presence came quietly — in recovery meetings, moments of meditation, or simply breathing through a craving without reaching for escape. I began to notice the world again: the sound of my dog’s paws on the floor, the feel of my breath in my chest, the light through the kitchen window.
Mindfulness in recovery taught me something religion hadn’t:
I don’t have to be anywhere other than here.
I don’t have to be anyone other than me.
And I don’t have to fix the whole world to be worthy of peace.
Today, presence is my daily practice. Not perfection — just presence.
And in that presence, I’ve found the clarity to show up with honesty, humility, and heart.
Recovery isn’t just about stopping a behavior. It’s about starting a new way of being — one rooted in this moment, in this breath, in this choice.
Right here.
Right now.
That’s where freedom lives.
To Reflect:
Where are your feet today?
Share if presence has been part of your healing. Tag someone learning to live in the now.
This moment is enough — and so are you.
