# Awakening With Don

> The Circle Is Never Closed


## Posts

- [When Control Is Really Fear](https://awakeningwithdon.com/when-control-is-really-fear/): For a long time, I wanted to be seen as the one who was excelling. This reflection explores how the need to appear capable, wise, or put together can sometimes be fear in disguise, and how healing asks for honesty instead of performance.
- [Learning How to Stay](https://awakeningwithdon.com/learning-how-to-stay/): I got really good at escaping. Sometimes it was alcohol. Other times it looked a lot more respectable. Staying busy. Performing well. Holding everything together on the outside while something inside quietly asked for air. Prefer to watch instead? The video link is posted below. For a long time, that was how I lived. You can see how those old patterns slowly stopped working in an earlier reflection, When the Old Way Stops Working. Recovery began teaching me something simple, but not easy. Instead of running from discomfort, I began learning how to sit with it. Instead of escaping difficult […]
- [When Certainty Starts to Soften](https://awakeningwithdon.com/outgrowing-certainty/): The hardest changes in my life didn’t start with failure. They started with doubt. A reflection on what it feels like when certainty begins to soften, and how curiosity can become a steadier way forward.
- [When the Old Way Stops Working](https://awakeningwithdon.com/when-the-old-way-stops-working/): The old way works… until it starts costing you. A reflection on the quiet realization that something isn’t sustainable anymore—and the first small step toward change. 
- [Practicing Vulnerability When It Feels Like New Territory](https://awakeningwithdon.com/practicing-vulnerability-when-it-feels-like-new-territory/): A month from today, my memoir will be released. There’s excitement in that, but what I didn’t fully anticipate is the quiet vulnerability that comes with knowing people will soon be able to read a very honest account of my life.
- [When Your Life Doesn’t Look as Smooth as Theirs](https://awakeningwithdon.com/when-your-life-doesnt-follow-a-straight-line/): Have you ever looked at someone’s life and thought, “They’ve really done life well”? This reflection is about the comparison spiral, the would-have/could-have/should-have loop, and coming back to the present.
- [The List and the Life](https://awakeningwithdon.com/the-list-and-the-life/): A reflection on productivity, unfinished to-do lists, and learning to meet ordinary days with mindfulness, compassion, and a little more grace.
- [Letting It Be Seen: Perfectionism, Image, and Learning to Let Work Be Done](https://awakeningwithdon.com/letting-it-be-seen/): Perfectionism isn’t always about the work. Sometimes it’s about image. A reflection on finishing something meaningful and learning to let it be seen.
- [Future Tripping and the Breath: Coming Back to the Present Moment](https://awakeningwithdon.com/future-tripping-and-the-breath/): Most of us will take hundreds of millions of breaths in a lifetime, and no two are exactly the same. This reflection explores “future tripping,” the way our minds rehearse what hasn’t happened yet, and how two or three intentional breaths can bring us back to what’s true right now.
- [What We Take In Without Noticing](https://awakeningwithdon.com/what-we-take-in-without-noticing/): While walking on a treadmill, I noticed how much anger and chaos I was absorbing from screens around me, even with music in my ears. A reflection on awareness, calm, and what we take in without noticing.
- [Purpose vs. Presence](https://awakeningwithdon.com/purpose-vs-presence/): I tend to “walk with purpose,” which often means hurry. This reflection explores mission mode, what I learned on solo backpacking trips, and a simple 5% slower practice to come back to the moment.
- ["OK" is OK](https://awakeningwithdon.com/ok-is-ok/): Not every day is meant to be a breakthrough. Some days are simply OK, and that can be a sign of stability, peace, and real progress. This reflection is a gentle reminder: OK is OK.
- [New Year’s Reflection: The Pressure Cooker and the Clean Year](https://awakeningwithdon.com/new-year-pressure-cooker-clean-year/): New Year’s can quietly turn into a pressure cooker. A reflection on the “clean year” myth, happiness as a checklist, and choosing small returns back to what’s real instead of more pressure.
- [Alone and Lonely](https://awakeningwithdon.com/being-alone-vs-lonely/): For a long time, I did not enjoy being alone with myself. This reflection explores the difference between being alone and being lonely, and what changed along the way.
- ["I’m Fine!" - The Mask With the Smile Pasted On](https://awakeningwithdon.com/im-fine-mask-with-the-smile-pasted-on/): Many of us wear a smile that says “I’m fine” even when something inside is not. This reflection explores the quiet cost of pretending, the masks we learn to wear, and the relief that comes when we find places where honesty is allowed and being human is enough.
- [Sitting With the Waiting](https://awakeningwithdon.com/sitting-with-the-waiting/): In the hours before becoming a grandfather, I found myself reflecting on presence, family, and what we carry forward from the generations before us. Sometimes the most meaningful moments are found in the waiting.
- [In This Life, Shit Happens: A Recovery Perspective on Everyday Discomfort](https://awakeningwithdon.com/everyday-suffering-in-recovery/): Most discomfort in life isn’t about what happens to us—it’s about how we respond. This reflection explores the small moments that throw us off balance, the suffering we unintentionally create, and how recovery can help us respond more wisely.
- [When Life Burns Down… Then What?](https://awakeningwithdon.com/when-life-burns-down/): In 2004, a backdraft tore through the church I served as a pastor. I walked away unharmed, but the moment uncovered deeper truths I wouldn’t face until years later in recovery. This week’s reflection explores what that day revealed—and what life is still teaching me now.
- [My Journey is Descriptive, Not Prescriptive](https://awakeningwithdon.com/former-christian-pastor-buddhist-journey/): I’m a former Christian pastor who now aligns with Buddhist principles and practices, and this reflection shares how I got from one place to the other. My journey isn’t a blueprint—it’s simply an honest look at where life has led me.
- [Reflections on Meditation](https://awakeningwithdon.com/reflections-on-meditation/): Meditation has quietly shaped the way I move through my life — helping me stay present, loosen my grip on old stories, and respond with more clarity instead of reactivity. This reflection explores the two simple practices that continue to anchor me, both in recovery and in everyday life.
- [The Words We Use Matter](https://awakeningwithdon.com/https-donphelpsrecovery-com-the-words-we-use-matter/): We speak thousands of words each day — but how often do we notice their impact? This reflection explores how mindfulness and the Buddhist teaching of Wise Speech can transform the way we communicate. Through personal examples and gentle awareness, it’s a reminder that every word creates a ripple.
- [Falling Back, Moving Forward](https://awakeningwithdon.com/falling-back-moving-forward/): When the clocks turn back and the days grow shorter, it’s easy to feel like something’s slipping away. But these darker days remind us to pause, to look back just long enough to learn — and then to return our eyes to the road ahead, moving forward with a little more peace and presence.
- [When the Lines Disappear](https://awakeningwithdon.com/when-the-lines-disappear/): When the Apollo 8 astronauts turned their camera back toward Earth, they gave us more than a photograph — they gave us perspective. From that distance, there were no sides, no borders, no “us versus them.” Just one fragile, beautiful home.
- [The Most Important Mile](https://awakeningwithdon.com/the-most-important-mile/): Last weekend, Emily and I were in Chicago — and it just happened to be marathon weekend. Watching the runners brought back a flood of memories from my own eight Chicago Marathons. What stood out most wasn’t race day, but the training — the quiet, consistent miles that no one sees. Those “treadmill days” taught me that the real work happens long before the finish line.  On one of those long solo runs years ago, something clicked: the most important mile isn’t the one ahead or behind — it’s the one I’m in. It’s the only mile I can enjoy, and the only one I can do anything about. That truth has carried me through recovery and through life — a reminder to stay present in the mile I’m living right now.
- [Finding Peace in the Pause](https://awakeningwithdon.com/finding-peace-in-the-pause/): There was a time when I lived almost entirely in reaction—scrambling to fix, manage, and control life. Today, I’m learning that peace begins in the pause: those few mindful breaths between what happens and how we respond.
- [Don’t Pigeonhole Yourself](https://awakeningwithdon.com/dont-pigeonhole-yourself/): I once thought a good life meant having the right answers. Over time I began to feel the dissonance between what I said and what I truly believed. It took me years to name it—and even longer to give myself permission to question without guilt. In this reflection, I share how honest conversations, including six episodes with my son on his podcast Finding My Religion, helped me trace the journey and land on Buddhist principles that now guide me toward presence, steadiness, and compassion.
- [From Apollo Dreams to Recovery Journeys](https://awakeningwithdon.com/apollo-dreams-recovery-journeys/): A lot of life has happened between that wide-eyed boy and the man I am today. Decades filled with joy, love, mistakes, regrets, and ultimately recovery. Sitting in that gallery, looking at the preserved consoles of Mission Control while the Apollo 11 landing data scrolled across the screens, I realized something important: the sense of wonder and possibility that once fueled a boy’s space dreams is the same spirit that now sustains me in recovery.
- [Letting Go of the Old Me: The Freedom in Surrender | Awakening With Don](https://awakeningwithdon.com/letting-go-of-the-old-me-freedom-in-surrender/): For most of my life, I held tightly to old identities — pastor, perfectionist, the one who had it all together. Letting go of those versions of myself wasn’t weakness; it was freedom. In this reflection, I explore the paradox of surrender and the unexpected liberation that comes when we release who we thought we had to be.
- [The Circle Is Never Closed](https://awakeningwithdon.com/the-circle-is-never-closed/): The Enso, a sacred symbol in Zen Buddhism, embodies the beauty of imperfection and the journey of life. It teaches us that wholeness is not found in perfection, but in presence. My path to recovery has been anything but linear, filled with setbacks and lessons. Embracing the idea that life is about beginning again each day has transformed my perspective. Through meditation and the simplicity of the Enso, I’ve learned to let go of control and fully experience the present moment. Discover how this open circle can inspire you to live with honesty, vulnerability, and peace.
- [Staying Steady in Someone Else’s Storm](https://awakeningwithdon.com/staying-steady-in-someone-elses-storm/): Golf will test your patience — not just with your own swing, but with the actions of others. Just like life, people will sometimes “hit into us” — push too hard, disrupt our peace, or act in ways we think they shouldn’t. We can’t stop that from happening. What we can do is decide whether to feed the anger or to step aside and play our own game with presence.
- [What My Daughter’s Wedding Taught Me About Presence and Authenticity](https://awakeningwithdon.com/what-my-daughters-wedding-taught-me-about-presence-and-authenticity/): This weekend, my daughter married the love of her life. As I reflect on the day, I am struck by the gift of presence — the ability to be not only physically there, but emotionally and spiritually grounded in the moment. For much of my life, presence often escaped me. My mind was tangled in regrets of the past or anxieties about the future. But on this day, I was fully here. And that presence allowed me to receive the depth of joy, gratitude, and love that surrounded us. Presence is not perfection. It is the pause that steadies us […]
- [Finding The Trail Again](https://awakeningwithdon.com/finding-the-trail-again/): Finding the Trail Again During my recent solo-backpacking adventure on Isle Royale, I came upon a stretch of solid rock—about 50 yards wide and 100 yards long. The trail disappeared as I stepped onto it. I knew the path continued on the other side, but even with my GPS, I couldn’t figure out where to pick it up. For nearly ten minutes I wandered back and forth, scanning the edges, trying to make sense of the landscape. Finally, I stopped, took a breath, and settled myself. And there it was: a small stack of rocks, carefully placed by someone before […]
- [Things Are as They Are: Lessons From Isle Royale](https://awakeningwithdon.com/619-2/): Practicing Equanimity on Isle Royale Driving home after my seaplane flight back from a six-day solo backpacking adventure on Isle Royale—a rugged wilderness in the middle of Lake Superior—I found myself reflecting on six days of beauty, challenge, and a surprisingly practical lesson in equanimity. Did I love it? Absolutely. Would I change anything? Not at all. Was the beauty everything I expected? Even more so. And yet, the greatest gift of the trip wasn’t just the landscapes, wildlife, or solitude. It was the chance to practice equanimity—staying balanced and at peace no matter what arises. Moments of Serenity There […]
- [Relearning How to Be: Recovery and the Gift of Presence](https://awakeningwithdon.com/relearning-how-to-be-recovery-and-the-gift-of-presence/): Letting Go of the Old Me: Recovery as a Practice of Becoming There’s a moment in recovery when we realize: We’re not just giving up a substance — we’re giving up an identity. For years, I clung to the image of the person I thought I had to be. The pastor. The provider. The one who had it all together. That image earned me affirmation in public — but in private, it was suffocating. I wasn’t pretending, exactly. I was trying so hard to live into a version of myself I believed others needed me to be. I wore that […]
- [From Hiding to Here: How Presence Became My Practice](https://awakeningwithdon.com/from-hiding-to-here-how-presence-became-my-practice/): From Hiding to Here: How Presence Became My Practice By Don Phelps For most of my life, I lived in two places: I was everywhere… except here. Even during the years I served as a pastor, I was often just performing. Smiling on the outside. Preaching hope to others while falling apart inside. I had mastered the art of hiding in plain sight — and I called it “strength.” But eventually, the strain of performing broke me. And in that breaking, something unexpected emerged:Presence. At first, presence came quietly — in recovery meetings, moments of meditation, or simply breathing through […]
- [From Pulpit to Presence](https://awakeningwithdon.com/from-pulpit-to-presence/): My fall from grace wasn’t just professional. It was spiritual. It shattered the identity I’d built over decades. And in that emptiness, I began to confront truths I’d been running from for years.

## Pages

- [You're In](https://awakeningwithdon.com/thank-you/): Welcome to the Circle. Each Sunday morning, I’ll send one short reflection.Nothing extra. Nothing to keep up with. Just something real to sit with. Glad you’re here.
- [Recovery Without Religion](https://awakeningwithdon.com/recovery-without-religion/): Recovery Without Religion Recovery can take many forms. For some people, the path back to stability and healing includes a return to religious faith. For others, recovery unfolds differently. It may include rebuilding a sense of meaning, ethics, and connection without returning to a traditional religious structure. Recovery without religion does not mean recovery without depth, purpose, or spiritual exploration. It simply means allowing healing to take shape in ways that are honest and sustainable. For many people in addiction recovery, this path includes mindfulness, meditation, community, and the gradual work of learning how to live in the present moment. […]
- [Mindfulness in Recovery](https://awakeningwithdon.com/mindfulness-in-recovery/): Mindfulness in Recovery Recovery doesn’t always look the way we expect. For some of us, the path includes mindfulness, meditation, and Buddhist-informed recovery practices that help us stay present rather than simply survive. Through Awakening With Don, I share reflections on learning how to stay grounded in recovery, rebuilding life after addiction, and discovering a quieter path of healing rooted in awareness and compassion. What Mindfulness in Recovery Means Mindfulness in recovery means learning to notice what is happening in the present moment without immediately reacting to it. For people recovering from addiction, this can be powerful. Cravings, fear, shame, […]
- [Book](https://awakeningwithdon.com/from-pulpit-to-presence/): FROM PULPIT TO PRESENCE A Memoir of Losing Faith, Finding Recovery, and Learning How to Stay  by Don Phelps Now Available From Pulpit to Presence is a recovery memoir by Don Phelps exploring addiction, loss of faith, and the process of rebuilding a life grounded in mindfulness and presence. It speaks to anyone navigating recovery, uncertainty, and the challenge of learning how to stay. Order the Book Join the Circle If my reflections resonate, I share one short reflection each Sunday morning on recovery, presence, and learning how to stay. No noise. Just something steady to return to. Receive the […]
- [Join the Circle](https://awakeningwithdon.com/join-the-circle/): ← Return to Home If you’ve been reading along, thank you. The Circle continues to grow, and you’re welcome to be part of it. Join the Circle If my reflections resonate, I share one short reflection each Sunday morning on recovery, presence, and learning how to stay. No noise. Just something steady to return to. Receive the Reflection Loading… You’re in! Welcome to the Circle. You’ll receive a weekly reflection and a simple note on launch day with the direct link to From Pulpit to Presence.
- [Contact](https://awakeningwithdon.com/contact/): Contact Don Get in Touch Let’s Connect Have a question, or interested in inviting Don for a recovery event? Use the form here or reach out directly. I look forward to connecting with you. 815.797.2168 Don@AwakeningWithDon.com Send a Message
- [Reflections](https://awakeningwithdon.com/blog/): Reflections
- [Speaking](https://awakeningwithdon.com/speaking/): Speaking Engagements Real Conversations on Recovery, Identity, and Learning How to Stay Don Phelps speaks from lived experience with care, honesty, and deep respect for the journeys of others. As the author of From Pulpit to Presence, and as a recovery mentor, writer, and former pastor, he offers grounded conversations on addiction, identity, and the quiet work of learning how to stay. His story of addiction, awakening, and spiritual transition resonates with recovery communities, treatment centers, faith communities navigating change, and mental health audiences. Each talk is thoughtfully tailored to the audience and can be offered in person or virtually. […]
- [About](https://awakeningwithdon.com/about/): About Don Phelps From Pastor to Recovery Mentor — A Journey of Awakening Don Phelps is a recovery mentor, writer, and facilitator who speaks and writes about addiction, identity, and the quiet work of learning how to stay present in ordinary life. Before entering recovery, Don spent ten years in Christian ministry after studying in seminary. His ministry ended abruptly when his struggle with alcoholism could no longer be hidden. What followed was a period of deep personal reckoning and transformation. Through recovery, Don experienced a profound spiritual shift and no longer identifies within the Christian tradition that once defined […]
- [Home](https://awakeningwithdon.com/): Awakening With Don is a recovery and mindfulness platform by Don Phelps, offering reflections on presence, lived experience, and the ongoing path of healing.


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